Welcome to Your Life, There's No Turning Back
by SMG4's SuperFan
Summary: Saints Row 2 novelization. Playa has just woken up from a 5-year coma. The Saints are gone, and Ultor has taken over the Row. He'll have to take back the city from the 3 new gangs, the Sons of Samedi, Ronin, and Brotherhood.
1. Prolouge

_**DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING IS A FAN-BASED PARODY. SAINTS ROW, SAINTS ROW 2, SAINTS ROW THE THIRD, SAINTS ROW IV, RED FACTION, AND ULTOR ARE OWNED BY VOLITION AND DEEP SILVER. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE.**_

 _ **Location: Mayor Hughes' boat, Downtown Stilwater, 2006.**_

 _ **Playa's POV**_ :

"Yo, can we hurry this shit up? I wanna go to Freckle Bitches." I said to Hughes. I knew that he would be planning to kill me, because he wanted to. He spouted some shit about wanting to renovate the Row, and how the Saints were going to be his fucking scapegoats. I didn't give a damn. I mean I'm the leader of the Third Street Saints, well I am until Julius gets back from prison in like, a day. I'm the fucking deadliest man in the city. I took down the Carnales, I demolished the Vice Kings, and obiverated the Westside Rollerz. I killed both the mayor, and the chief of police. I ain't gonna listen to some whack-ass old man. I spotted Julius, I guess he was running from the police. I then heard Hughes saying that he would have to kill me. I reached back to grab my VICE 9, when I heard beeping. I knew what that was. Shit, someone put C4 on this boat!

"BOMB!" I yelled, running for safety. But it was too late, it went off, demolishing the boat. I was floating on debris. I blacked out soon after.

"Ugh..." I said, now the black had been replaced by white. It was some kind of bandage. I could hear chatter, but I couldn't understand a word. A song then came on the radio.

 _Welcome to your life, there's no turning back_

 _Even while we sleep, we will find you_

 _Acting on your best behavior_

 _Turn your back on mother nature_

 _Everybody wants to rule the world._

 _ **Well, Playa just woke up from a coma. Next chapter, he'll be breaking out of prison. Anyways, welcome to my novelization of Saints Row 2. This story will cover the prologue. Anyways, if you like this story, be sure to leave a review. Remeber to like, share, follow, and review. This is SMG4's SuperFan signing out!**_


	2. Chapter 2: Jailbreak

**DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING IS A NON-PROFIT FAN BASED PARODY. SAINTS ROW, SAINTS ROW 2, SAINTS ROW THE THIRD, SAINTS ROW IV, SAINTS ROW GAT OUT OF HELL, AGENTS OF MAYHEM, AND ULTOR ARE ALL OWNED BY VOLITION AND DEEP SILVER. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE.**

 ** _STILWATER PRISON, 2011_**

 ** _PLAYA'S POV_**

"Uuugh..." I moaned loudly. All I could see was white, I heard a heart monitor, I must be in the hospital. How long was I out? A week? A month? It doesn't matter, I need to get back to the Saints and tell them Hughes' plan for the Row. The bandages came off, and I noticed two prison guards nearby. Shit, I'm in prison. I need to bust out. I then noticed a nurse wheeling a kid with a purple beanie on his head. Guess he must be in the Saints. They guards say I should think of things to say to the judge. Well, fuck me, it's not like I'm gonna kill every motherfucking cop in this prison, and then get back one of my two mansions, or the penthouse I got from King. The kid next to me then pulled the curtain away.

"Hey, is it really you?" He said to me. What does he mean, of course I'm me. Why the fuck would I not?

"Yes?" I said, unsure what he meant.

"My brother was in the Saints, I'm here to bust you out." Said the kid.

"Sure you will." I replied.

"Look, I got myself shanked just for a chance to see you. Doesn't that prove I'm loyal?" Said the kid.

"It proves you're dumb enough to get shanked." I said.

"You need me." He said.

"Like hell I do, I got the Saints." I said proudly.

"Yeah, sure you do." He muttered.

"Wait, what the fuck does that mean?" I replied.

"How long do you think you've been out?" The kid said.

"Two or three weeks." I replied.

"Listen, even if you hide from the guards long enough, you'll find out you're on a goddamn island. And I bet you can't outswim the Coast Guard." Said the kid.

"OK, you got a boat?" I said.

"No, but I know where we're going to steal one." He replied.

I then got off the bed, and killed the doctor in the room. Good to see my limbs still work. I then turned to the kid.

"So kid, what's your name?" I said.

"It's Carlos. Anyways, we can sneak out the roof, or bust through the front door." Carlos said.

"Let's bust through." I replied.

We then went out the door, fought a few guards, and picked up their NR4's and Tombstones. We then went to the guard armory, and got some AR-40's. We then went out and I hijacked a police car.

"God, I need to listen to some KBOOM." I said going to the next preset station after the police dispatch. I turned it and heard 80's music play. It was Tears For Fears' "Everybody Wants to Rule The World.".

 _It's my own desire,_

 _It's my own remorse,_

 _Help me to decide_

 _Help me make the_

 _Most of freedom_

 _And our pleasure_

 _Nothing ever lasts forever_

 _Everybody wants to rule the world._

"What the hell? Where's KBOOM?!" I said.

"KBOOM went off the air years ago. This is 107.77 The Mix. It plays the best 80's music." Carlos said.

"Wait, what year is it?!" I questioned while driving to the docks.

"It's 2011." Said Carlos.

Shit, I've been out for 5 years. Anyways, we made it to the dock, and I'm ready to escape this fucking shithole. Carlos said he would drive, while I handled the gun. It was a AR-SAW. I heard of these guns, but Friendly Fire was out of stock of them five years ago. I shot some choppers and boats. I saw downtown Stilwater, and some big building. When we finally got to the Row, I noticed what was there.

"Here you are." Said Carlos.

"Wait a minute, THAT'S the Row?! When did this happen?!" I said.

"When Ultor got involved.." Carlos said.

"Wait, Ultor the clothing company?" I said.

"After Hughes was killed in that bombing of yours, Ultor picked up the pieces. Now they're everywhere, TV, clothes, hell, if you don't remember who Ultor is, just look towards that big fucking eyesore the Phelps Building." Said Carlos.

We then docked at some warehouses.

"Thanks Carlos, where can I find the other Saints?" I said to Carlos.

"What other Saints?" He questioned me.

"What do you mean?" I said.

"With no one to lead them, the Saints fell apart. The ones that remained, dropped their flags after the Ronin, the Sons of Samedi, and the Brotherhood showed up. I suggest you lay low. They're looking for you. I say you go get a beer at Tee N' Ays and soak up what you can." Carlos said.

He then gave me $500, and left. Shit. The Saints are gone, and three new gangs are in Stilwater. I guess I'll get a beer. I hijacked a Bootlegger, and went to Tee N' Ays.

 _ **Well, Playa just escaped prison, and is in a different Stilwater then the one he left. In the next chapter, Playa will be busting out Johnny Gat. If you want to, leave a review. Remember to like, share, follow, and review. This is SMG4's SuperFan signing out!**_


	3. Chapter 3: Appointed Defender

**DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING IS A FAN-BASED PARODY. SAINTS ROW, SAINTS ROW 2, SAINTS ROW THE THIRD, SAINTS ROW IV, SAINTS ROW GAT OUT OF HELL, RED FACTION, AGENTS OF MAYHEM, AND ULTOR ARE OWNED BY VOLITION AND DEEP SILVER. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE.**

 ** _TEE N' AY, STILWATER, 2011..._**

 _ **PLAYA'S POV**_

Well, I arrived at Tee N' Ay. God, it's been forever since I was there. I noticed that there had been some changes. I guess Ultor must have renovated the place. It just looked real tacky. I went inside, and I got a beer. I then noticed something on TV.

"It's said to be the trial of the century. Johnny Gat has been arrested after trying to attack an officer of the law. He is being retried for over 300 counts of first-degree of murder, and one count of attempted murder." Said the news reporter. Jesus, Johnny's in trouble. I gotta go rescue him! I then noticed a white-trash guy sit next to me.

"Hey Barry, turn that shit off!" The guy said.

"Hey, I was watching that." I said.

"Well now you're not." He said.

I then grabbed his beer bottle, swung it at his head, and knocked him out.

"Can you turn it back on?" I asked Barry. He did turn it on.

"In just a few minutes, we'll be going back into the courtroom, and find out if Mr. Gat will go home a free man, or a dead man." The news anchor said. I then ran out to the car, after dealing with some gang thugs. They don't look like a Sons of Samedi or a Ronin, so they must be a Brotherhood. After avoiding them, I took my Bootlegger, and put on The Mix. I think i'm starting to like The Mix.

 _There's a room where the light won't find you_

 _Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down_

 _When they do I'll be right behind you_

 _So glad we've almost made it_

 _So sad they had to fade it_

 _Everybody wants to rule the world_

I made it to the courthouse, and saw news reporters all over the place. I ran right into the building, and found the courtroom. I put my hands on the door, and was ready to bust it down, when I heard voices.

"Mr. Gat, you've been convicted of over 300 counts of murder, do you really think that this going to go well for you?" The person who I assume was the judge.

"Actually, I think with the statue of limitations, it should be 250." Johnny said.

"There's no limitations for murder!" The judge said.

"Well why the fuck not?" Johnny questioned.

He then said some shit, then I heard Legal Lee. It was time to bust Johnny out. I busted the door down, grabbed my NR4, and pointed it at the other cop.

"Drop it." I said to him. He dropped his VICE 9, it fired, and everyone then ducked. Legal Lee then poked his head out.

"Anyone hit and need a lawyer?" Lee said.

"Bout time your burnt ass woke up!" Johnny said.

"I know." I replied.

"Hey, you look different... Did you do something with your hair?" Said Johnny.

"Let's go." I said to him after freeing him.

We then left the place after shooting up some cops. We hijacked a Five-O, and were driving to Forgive and Forget.

"So where do you want to go?" I said.

"Take me to Eesh's place." Johnny said.

"You still with Aisha?" I said.

"Yeah." Said Johnny.

"Well what happened over the last 5 years?" I said.

"Well, you've got a lot of catching up to do. Julius is missing, Ben King wrote an autobiography about his life in the Vice Kings, Dex is... Don't even get me started on Dex. But the biggest kicker is Troy. He went from undercover cop to chief of police in just a few months."

"Troy's the chief of police?!" I said. I couldn't believe one of my best friends was an undercover cop. It didn't matter, Troy was and is my friend.

"Yeah. After he became chief, people started harassing me less. Guess he must be more forgiving then me." Johnny said.

"Guess I'll swing by the police station to say hi." I said.

"So Johnny, what was King's book like?' I said.

"Oh, Regicide? It was a decent read. I mean there are better books, like Red Faction. He editied a few things to make him seem less guilty. He said I gunned down Tanya, and you stepped on her fingers. He did say he was there with us, but he didn't kill anyone." Said Johnny.

"Well, that sounds interesting. Anyways, what's Red Faction?" I said.

"Red Faction is this great book. It's about a miner's rebellion against Ultor, and an ordinary man, Parker, stuck in the middle of the chaos." Johnny said.

"Sounds good, might read it. To be honest, it kind of sounds like a video game." I said. I already liked it when he said it was about people rebelling against Ultor. God, I fucking hate the new Ultor. I liked when they made clothing better. I mean, they tear down the Row, they take over my town, and allow three new gangs to come in to Stilwater. Well, I won't have it.

"Actually, from what I've heard, it's being turned into a soap opera. Called "Red Planet, Red Passion."." Johnny said.

We arrived at Aisha's house, and Johnny went in. But before he went in, he gave me some keys.

"Here, these are the keys to a hideout I used in the Red Light district. It's all yours now. Oh, and thanks for busting me out, Eesh would have killed me if I got executed." Johnny said. He also gave me some money.

I decided I would go in in a few hours. I just needed time to reflect. My town has been taken over, and it looks tacky as shit. Well, I think it's time to get the Third Street Saints back together, but I guess we'll need a new crew. I then took the Five-O to a graveyard. Just my luck, it was still there. I went in, and I found the gravestone I was looking for.

 **LIN**

 **1981-2006**

"Hey Lin." I said, looking down at Lin's grave.

"I know it's been a long time, but I've been in a coma for the past 5 years. I still wish I could have saved you... Anyways, I wanted to tell you that the Saints will be coming back. Anyways, bye." I said. While walking away, I saw another man go to Lin's grave with flowers in his hands. He got out from a Voxel, Lin's Voxel. It was Donnie. I had an urge to cap his ass, but he seemed remorseful. He probably left the gang life after the Rollerz fell apart. I went to my Five-O, and stored it at my new house in the Red Light district. I then got a call from Johnny.

"Hey, it's Johnny. Meet me at Eesh's house, we've got to plan our next move." Johnny said.

 ** _Well, Johnny and Playa are back together. The boys are back in town! Next chapter, the duo will be taking an abandoned hotel from the Sons of Samedi and the homeless. Remember to like, follow, share, and review. This is SMG4's SuperFan signing out!_**


	4. Chapter 4: Down Payment

**DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING IS A FAN-BASED PARODY, SAINTS ROW, SAINTS ROW 2, SAINTS ROW THE THIRD, SAINTS ROW IV, SAINTS ROW GAT OUT OF HELL, AGENTS OF MAYHEM, AND ULTOR ARE ALL OWNED BY VOLITION AND DEEP SILVER. PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE.**

 **Aisha's house, suburban district of Stilwater, 2011...**

 **PLAYA's POV**

I went to the door, and knocked on it. It opened and Johnny was there. We had a manly hug, and then went inside. He got 2 beers, one for him, and one for me. He got the cap off by pulling it off the table. He then laid his feet on the table.

"Johnny, who is that?" Said Aisha. It's been a long while since I saw her, I was still expecting her to have the hairdo, and that cap of hers as well. Aisha was Stilwater's claim to fame back in 2006. She was loved all across the nation, and she had a loving boyfriend in Johnny. The only problem was that she was with Kingdom Come Records. A record company owned by the Vice Kings. They forced her to stay with them, and they also kidnapped her sister for a prostitution ring. Luckily, I saved her sister. We faked her death by putting explosives in her car, and driving it to Kingdom Come Records. She went in, and then escaped out before the C4 went off. Kingdom Come records was blown to, well, kingdom come. Hun, ironic. Later, I heard that Kingdom Come made a box set called Lazardus Girl.

"Yo, come on down and find out!" Johnny said to her. Aisha then came downstairs, and wow. It's like she grew up. She got rid of the hairdo, and was wearing a good outfit.

"Johnny, I don't care if you just got out of prison, you cannot put your feet on my... Oh my god, it's you." Aisha said. She was very startled to see me.

"Surprised Aisha?" I said to her.

"That you're alive, or that you're talking?" She said.

"Pick either one." I said.

"We all thought you were dead!" Aisha said.

"Well so did I." I said.

"Well for someone who got blown the hell up, you look great. Did you do something with your hair?" Aisha said.

"I've been getting that a lot lately." I said.

"Anyways, what do you boys want to do now?" Aisha said.

"Well I've been on death row, and that bitch's been in a coma." Johnny said.

"We definitely need to remind motherfuckers who we are." I said.

"And this can't wait until after dinner?" Aisha said.

"NO!" We both said.

"Why don't we set up here?" Johnny said.

"Johnny, I am not letting my house be a clubhouse for some gang!" Aisha said.

"Well it's spacious." I said.

"The color is very soothing." Johnny said.

"No. Go find your own place." Aisha said, shooing us out of the house.

"Well, we gotta find a new place." Johnny said, opening the garage door to reveal a Cosmos. I got in the driver's seat, and played The Mix.

 _I can't stand this indecision_

 _Married with a lack of vison_

 _Everybody want to rule the.._

 _Say that you'll never never never need it_

 _One headline, why believe it?_

 _Everybody wants to rule the world._

 _"_ Why don't we just setup shop at the church?" I said.

"Because Ultor's renovated it. Turned it into a tourist trap." Johnny said.

"Really?" I said in disbelief.

"That's why the mission house is the perfect place." Said Johnny.

"Religious buildings have kinda been there, done that." I said.

"We're not staying in the mission house, we're staying under it. See, years ago, there was an earthquake that dropped part of the city under sea level. Rather than rebuild, The city just built over it. There's an abandoned hotel under the house." Johnny said.

"What's the catch?" I said.

"We've gotta evict the current tenants." Johnny said.

We arrived at the mission house, and went down. I saw the hotel, it was a shithole. There were people wearing green, I guess they're the Sons of Samedi. We killed all the Samedi, and I got two T3K-Urbans. We then killed all the homeless, and then destroyed all their shacks. We then went back to the hotel, to go clean up the bodies.

"Well, what do you think?" Johnny said to me.

"I think this place is a shithole." I said.

"Yeah, but it's a shithole with potential." Johnny said.

"I don't know." I said.

"C'mon. Some flat screens, a stripper pole..." Johnny said.

"You had me at stripper pole." I said.

"Well come on, let's get this over with." Johnny said.

After a few minutes I said to Johnny to take a break. I decided to ask him about a few things.

"So Johnny, what happened to the Venom Classic?" I said.

"It was destroyed by the Ronin." Johnny said.

"The Ronin?" I said. I had heard of them, but never seen them.

"They're a Yakuza syndicate that decided to come to America. They're also the group that was buying the cars from the Westside Rollerz. They specialize in vice, porn, and gambling. I attacked a couple dozen of them, and they destroyed my car as a message." Johnny said.

"Oh, so they're like the Vice Kings?" I said.

"Yep." Johnny replied.

"Well, let's get back to work." I said.

 ** _Well, Playa and Johnny just got a new hideout. Next chapter, Playa will get the 3 lieutenants, Shaundi, Pierce, and Carlos. Remember to like, share, follow, and review. This is SMG4's SuperFan signing out!_**


	5. Chapter 5: Three Kings

**DISCLAIMER: the following is a fan-based parody. Saints row, saints row 2, saints row the third, saints row iv, saints row gat out of hell, agents of mayhem, and ultor are all owned by Volition and Deep Silver. Please support the official release.**

 **Hotel, Old Stilwater, 2011**

 **Playa's POV**

We were cleaning up, when all of a sudden, Johnny spoke.

"You know, this is not how I thought my day would go." Johnny said.

"Hey, we've got to clean this place out." I said

"Yo, i'm not a fucking janitor." Johnny said.

"No shit, you're a goddamn diva." I said.

"This is the shit that people who just got canonized should be doing." Johnny said.

"Good idea." I said going up to a body. "We'll ask the crew to help. Hey buddy, wanna help? No? Well then, I guess we gotta do it."

"That's my point. We can't run a gang if we don't have, you know, A FUCKING GANG!" Johnny said.

"Well most of the old crew is either dead or busted by Troy. We're going to have to start fresh." I said.

"I met some people in jail. I'll make a few calls. You'll have to prove to them that you're the real deal though." Johnny said.

"This kid Carlos helped me escape prison. I'll go visit him" I said.

"Just a sec, what kind of gang do you want?" Johnny said. I left before I could give an answer, and got in a yellow Bootlegger. Colors of the Vice Kings. I drove to the suburbs where Johnny called me.

"OK, first person is a girl named Shaundi. She's fucked half of Stilwater, so she's got a vast information network of exes." Johnny said.

I stopped at a house with a Bootlegger and Hammerhead. A girl with light brown dreadlocks, a purple rag, a topless shirt, and purple pants. She went up to me.'

"Hi, i'm Shaundi. If I wanna roll with you, you gotta prove yourself. Do some sweet jumps." Shaundi said.

"OK Shaundi." I said to her. I drove the Hammerhead to a few ramps, and she was impressed.

"Wow, you're good. Tell me where to meet you guys." Shaundi said.

"Meet us at the abandoned hotel under the mission house." I said.

I then drove off to find the next person. Johnny then called me again.

"OK, the next person is a guy named Pierce. He's a good tactician, and he hates the Ronin as well." Johnny said.

I drove to a townhouse block, and found a guy with a cap, and some Stilwater Sharks clothing. That must be Pierce.

"Yo, i'm Pierce, and if I wanna roll with you, I wanna see you fuck up some Ronin." He said.

We then drove the Hammerhead to a bridge, where there was some Ronin to kill. I looted their bodies, and found a sweet-ass katana. After killing all the Ronin, Pierce was satisfied.

"Damn, I'll roll with you anytime!" He said.

"Meet us at the abandoned hotel under the mission house." I said.

I then drove to the Rim Jobs, where I saw Carlos. He was wearing a tank top, and that purple beanie.

"Hey, i'd be glad to roll with you, but I've got a problem. A deadbeat friend of mine owes me money. Come help me repo his car." Carlos said.

I got in the tow truck, and drove to the graveyard, I towed the car, and took it back to Rim Jobs. Carlos called his friend, and he was impressed by me.

"Meet us at the abandoned hotel under the mission house." I said.

I then called Johnny, and asked him if there were anymore people to recruit.

"Yo." Johnny said.

"Hey man, it's me. Do you want me to get anyone else?" I said.

"Nah, it's fine. Get back to the hotel." Johnny said.

I drove over to the mission house in the Hammerhead. When I got to the parking lot, I saw three cars. Three cars for three kings. Well lieutenants actually. Shaundi was leaning on a Bootlegger, Pierce was standing near a Compton, and Carlos was standing near a Reaper. While getting there, I overheard a conversation between Pierce and Shaundi.

"So, you're Shaundi." Said Pierce.

"Yep, and you are?" Shaundi said.

"Pierce. I have the weight lifting record at Stilwater Pen." Pierce said.

"Well that's great. I know a lot of people, and that can help with info." Shaundi said.

"Guys, great to see you. Let's go downstairs." I said.

And we went down the stairs, and into the abandoned hotel. When we got in there, I heard shouting, and I saw Johnny and a few other people wearing purple beating up a guy. Shit, people were being canonized.

"Where the hell did you get these guys?" I said to Johnny.

"Like I said, I made some calls." Johnny said.

"Just a sec. You're next." Johnny said to a guy.

"Sorry." A Saint said.

"You guys actually hang out here?" Carlos said.

"I dunno, add in a few couches, a flat screen, and a hookah, and we're set." Shaundi said.

"You definitely need a stripper pole up in this bitch." Pierce said.

I then ran up to the statue, and said something.

"All right! Listen up!" I shouted.

Everyone there turned to me.

"The Saints used to own this town, and the only motherfuckers that seem to remember that are me and Gat. I think it's time we gave these new gangs a wake-up call!" I said. When I said that, I felt like I was Julius, 5 years ago when he made that speech about flags and shit.

"Now, i'm not going to lie, a lot of shit has changed since 5 years ago. So i'mma need some help. Pierce, you've got the Ronin." I said.

"On it." He said.

"Shaundi, you've got the Sons of Samedi." I said.

"It's gotta be them?" Shaundi said.

"The fuck you say?" I said.

"Nothing, nothing, on it." Shaundi said.

"And Carlos...". I said.

"The Brotherhood, I'm on it." Carlos said.

"Alright, go to one of these guys if you want work. It's our time now, let's get this shit started." I said. Damn, that went awesome. On the bar, the radio tuned into The Mix.

 _All for freedom_

 _And for pleasure_

 _Nothing ever lasts forever_

 _Everybody wants to rule the world._

"Well this looks like a good crew, right Playa?" Johnny said.

"Yeah, it does Johnny. I think that we can take care of all these motherfuckers, and reclaim what's rightfully ours. Oh, and don't call me Playa anymore...". I said.

"Well the what they fuck do you want me to call you?" Johnny said.

"Call me Boss." I said.

 ** _Well, Boss just resurrected the Saints. The Boss will be back in Karma, Karma, Karma Chameleon, You Come and Go. Oh and quick FYI, this story, Welcome to Your Life, There's No Turning Back only covers the Saints Revival prologue. The next story will be about the Sons of Samedi arc. Oh and also, the strongholds won't be getting their own chapters. Remember to like, share, follow, and review. This is SMG4's SuperFan signing out!_**


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